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Room Service

This is alleged to be the genuine transcript of a telephone conversation between a guest and the room service in a hotel in Asia in the late 1990s.


Room Service Morny, ruin sorbees.
Guest Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.
Room Service Rye... ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to order sunteen?
Guest Oh, yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
Room Service Ow july den?
Guest What?
Room Service Ow july den? Pry, boy, pooch?
Guest Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
Room Service Ow july de baychem... crease?
Guest Crispy will be fine.
Room Service Hokay. An san toes?
Guest What?
Room Service San tos. July san toes?
Guest I don't think so.
Room Service No? Judo one toes?
Guest I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'Judo one tos' means.
Room Service Toes! Toes! Why djew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?
Guest English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'. Fine, yes, an English muffin will be fine.
Room Service We bother?
Guest No... just put the bother on the side.
Room Service Copy?
Guest Sorry?
Room Service Copy, tee, meal?
Guest Yes, coffee please and that's all.
Room Service Wun minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye?
Guest Whatever you say.
Room Service Tendjewberrymud.
Guest You're welcome.
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